23:27 Music has started to lift my mood. I’m singing. Stilling having bad thoughts but it’s distracting me.
19:00 A little better than earlier but in a bad place. I told wife I self harmed and she hit the roof and was angry at me. Not a very helpful reaction.
10:55 I thought I could wait but the pressure was too much so I’ve cut myself in the toilets at work with a pencil sharpener blade. Feel relief but the urge to do it again deeper
10:33 Desperately trying to find a way to stop this pain. Holding on until lunch, I’m going to buy razors from Asda and cut myself
09:44 Looking online to buy opiates, I was addicted to codine a few years back (I think the paracetamol broke my liver/kidneys hence the problems I have now). The codine numbed me and I needed about 15 to make it through the day. I want to numb myself again
07:56 The good feeling of yesterday has gone. Half smile and willing hands are doing nothing to budge this
06:59 Struggling to get out of bed. No energy, don’t want to see anyone today or do anything. I just want to be on my own