18:18 Had a bath. Feel great, got plans for the future thought out and everything is going to be fine.
17:41 Tried meditating but I think I did more harm than good. My mind started flitting and latched onto a negative memory and I couldn’t stop it playing out. Snapped myself out of it but now I feel shit
16:30 Feel better. Deep cleaning the house and rearranging furniture.
15:40 Wife has bought me some chocolate and I’m going to have a bath
15:38 Trying distract skill. Cleaning house. Still feel so much pressure in my neck, shoulders, head. I’ve gone from wanting to kill myself to wanting to destroy something. Anything
14:25 I wish I was dead
14:24 Fucking stressed. So many things have just popped up that I can’t afford before Christmas but I have to. What the fuck am I going to do
09:32 Forcing myself to go to the park with family. Really don’t want to see or speak to anyone