21:20 UPDATE – I’M NOT WASTING MY TIME!!!
So, more big expressions, half smiles, tongues out & dancing. RO DBT has had a fucking success today! I’ve used the skills twice now and it has brought my mood right around. Unbelievable, and I thought I had no control over my moods. Fuck you moods.
17:38 Am I wasting my time?
This morning I had quite bad anxiety, it eased but then got much worse as my RO DBT class was due to start. It was rotten, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. I felt sick to my core and wanted to be swallowed up and die. My face was expressionless as my mind left the room.
Some skills that were taught brought me back! Closed half smile (basically a smile), big expressions (making faces, open arms, singing). I felt like these skills could be really useful so I brought them home with me – bursting into the house full of energy. Hugging everyone, smiling, asking about everyone’s day. Doing everything I could to make my family happy.
Then the wife. Miserable as sin. Won’t smile. I tell her about the new skills, doesn’t sound bothered. Told her they’re helpful for interaction etc. Being more approachable. She just fobbed it off and said, well you are approachable. I washed up (always complains)..told me to stop because I was too noisy. Just constantly putting me down and moaning and im trying my absolute best to cheer her up and improve the situation using my skills but shes draining me. I can only do it for so long before shes completely sapped my good mood and I’m fucking miserable again.
So I ask. Am I wasting my time?