10th Dec 17′ – Symptomless Day & Medication Review

19:41 It snowed today. I watched it out the window laying on the tree with my Christmas lights on. I also watched some films, ate a Sunday roast & now I’m going to game.

Mental Health Diary - Christmas Lights

It’s a good day and one that has not contained any symptoms of mental illness (that I’m aware of). It’s days like this that make you feel real, a glimpse out into ‘normality’. I will desperately try to cling onto the feeling but as you know, it doesn’t last.

I have a medication review this Wednesday, not sure how I feel about it. I’ve not had one before other than my initial dishing out of the meds. Currently I take 400mg of Lamotrigine (mood stabiliser) a day and to be fair it was an absolute life saver when I first started taking it. It seemed to stop my mood bouncing up and down throughout the day and lengthen it out to days. I’m still sure this medication is helping me but there are two points I am going to bring up on Wednesday:

  • I still get stuck in crushing depressions which are lasting for weeks/months.
  • Often I get completely overwhelmed by emotion and the only way out I can use is self harm or suicide. Fortunately, I have opted for the self harm but how long will this be the case? Every episode of depression seems deeper and darker than the last.

I know psychiatric medication is not a silver bullet so cannot expect both of the above points to be sorted on medication alone. However, something to help me come out of those deep depressions? Or something to help when I am overwhelmed?

Anyway, I’ll be bringing up those points and I will let you know how it goes πŸ™‚ Just out of interest, for any of you that have times when you are overwhelmed, do you have medication for this? If so, what is it?


Author: mentalhealthdiary.com

Just a stranger writing about their life as a mental illness sufferer. I hope you can relate to the content on my site :)

9 thoughts on “10th Dec 17′ – Symptomless Day & Medication Review”

  1. For anxiety (my version of overwhelmed πŸ˜‰ ) I use a small amount of sedative. It’s not ideal but is the only thing that works at the moment. I’ve tried all sorts of medications but have discovered I’m one of those 1 in 1000 that get the side effects of the side effects lol.
    I’ll be approaching the subject of this again with the doc in a few days … fingers crossed πŸ™‚
    Hope your review goes well xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I feel like I would be OK if in times of need someone just appeared an tranquillised me with a rhino dart. Aw hah, fortunately I’ve been quite lucky with side effects but I hope you find something that’ll help minus nasty side effects!

      Thank you and you too! Be good to know how you get on πŸ™‚ xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Tranquilizer shots, yes! I asked my husband if he’d hit me in the back of the head if things were like in the movies, where people get hit in the back of the heat, pass out, and only wake up as appropriate for the plot, only a minor ache as consequence. I explained sometimes that is all that I want, to pass out to let a bad phase go through. He still didn’t want to collaborate, but hey, at least I can share my crazy ideas with him eh? πŸ™‚

    I was prescribed Xanax for crisis. It shuts me down, I get dizzy and need to sleep. I wake up like a peaceful cow and remain mostly calm for the rest of that following day. I guess you could ask your doctor what they’d give you if you went to a hospital in a crisis, and he may figure something safe enough to let you administer yourself. I was given 15 pills and the addiction warning, so since January, I still haven’t used all of them. Took me months to use it the first time, because just having them available is soothing enough most days, knowing I have “a way out”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I reckon I’d prefer the tranq gun than a bat to the head mind πŸ˜‚ but I totally get where you’re coming from.

      That’s exactly what I want!!! Not that specific medication but just something there that I know I could use. Ahh that’s it, just knowing I had another option rather than self harming. I’m going to quote you on Wednesday at my review 😁


      1. Hope they can get you something for the crisis times. Before I had the pills I was using beer and margaritas… Turns out now I drink much less because I feel safe I have a backup plan. In fact now I only drink alcohol at work related parties, don’t do it on my own no more.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now surely beer and margaritas are a legitimate coping strategy ha!

        Yeah that’s a good idea. I always get worse when I start drinking on my own (I’ve not drank in 7 days now, record).


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