17th Dec 17′ – Ups & Downs

22:30 UPDATE. I have the fucking power!! Fuck the moods, fuck the downs. I have control over my life and what happens. I’m sound now totally sound.

19:36 Crazy day of ups and downs today. I struggled to even get out of bed and my pitch black room. Not asleep, just lying there feeling dead and empty. A dread that I have no life. I finally found the energy to get up but that dark mood followed me around the house. Then I snapped out of it (or so I thought), did a few bits around the house, went to the shops and then to my partner’s house to look after my son ๐Ÿ™‚. I was flustered and stressed though and snappy with my partner, it was obvious I wasn’t in a good frame of mind. I’ve struggled throughout the night but weirdly some ironing seems to have changed my mood! Now I feel OK. I need a plan to not feel like this anymore. It completely controls my life and I’m so sick of it. 

Author: mentalhealthdiary.com

Just a stranger writing about their life as a mental illness sufferer. I hope you can relate to the content on my site :)

8 thoughts on “17th Dec 17′ – Ups & Downs”

  1. ” weirdly some ironing seems to have changed my mood! Now I feel OK” — what in the fuck man? ironing? I hate ironing!

    I’ve been steadily going down… I used to be a Star Wars fan, but I can’t make myself interested to go see this new one, for example. I just “don’t care” about so much right now. Did a bit of house cleaning and got completely drained today. I understand the feeling of wanting to plan to not fall into these shit mood holes again, but man… I don’t know how much power we have over it. I feel like a failure because the cycle repeats, but am I being fair to myself? How much control do I have? I guess the best we can do right now is register and keep going. Find the patterns, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, yeah iron is disgusting. And I am the slowest ironer known to man, literally 5 mins per piece. But it did something haha!

      Ah no, is there nothing you can do to derail the downward trend? I’ve only heard good reviews about the new star wars mind…I was actually thinking of going on my own seen as I have no mates ๐Ÿ˜‚ but yeah, it’s difficult sometimes isn’t it. I really hope you find the power to overcome this but if you don’t at least remember we come out the other side! Always ๐Ÿ™‚ . You’re not a failure by any means because if you could stop that cycle then you would…That is being hard on yourself. Unfortunately control is something we must lack but we can gain some back by working out the patterns. Stay strong yeah, grab this shit by the neck and BREAKK ITTTT

      Like

      1. Thank you, it was good to read this, it helped a lot. I fail at ironing, so now when shopping I test the fabric for wrinkling to avoid it. Too much shit to learn to add ironing to the list.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I got told last week if you throw a shirt in the tumble dryer with an ice cube it’ll iron itself…don’t know how much truth is in that but it sounds cool. Anyway, hope you have a good day ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

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