31st Dec 17′ – I Need Some Advice Please

10:55 So I’ve been feeling good mentally the last couple of days and I think I want to stop all my medication (If anyone has any advice for/against that would be much appreciated).

See the thing is, yes I originally went to a Dr and was prescribed anti-depressants but ever since it has been a downward spiral. Stronger anti-depressants, mood stabilisers, then them both together. I have not been getting better over the last few years I have been getting worse and there are only two things in my life that could have caused this downfall:

  • Taking strong meds
  • Getting into a relationship that has been very up & down with a lot of psychological hammering

The relationship thing…Very complicated. I refuse to think that it is that alone that has really affected my mental health. I think these meds are almost tricking my brain into thinking it isn’t well. Positive thinking and all that…Well how can you have positive thinking when you are stuffing all this meds down your neck? Surely they’re a constant sign that things are not OK so you can take your positivity elsewhere.

So I need some advice. I know I am impulsive so left to my own devices I would just stop all medication now. Does anyone have experience good or bad of coming off meds? What about abruptly stopping? I would love to go into 2018 drug free.



Author: mentalhealthdiary.com

Just a stranger writing about their life as a mental illness sufferer. I hope you can relate to the content on my site :)

19 thoughts on “31st Dec 17′ – I Need Some Advice Please”

  1. That’s a tough one. Everyone is different and every body reacts differently to medication. For me, Zoloft caused a downward spiral and caused me to attempt suicide. Maybe you’re just on the wrong meds? And I get it. Trial and error is ridiculous. It gets so frustrating after a while and you just want to get better. I am currently on abilify and prozac and they are working for me. Granted I still have my days, but looking back on when I wasn’t on medication (with other people’s points of view as well), there is a drastic and good change.
    Borderline caused impulsivity as you mentioned and also to feel good and bad all within minutes. I would definitely talk to your doctor about coming off. And if they don’t agree or you want a different opinion/meds to be on, go to another doctor. A lot of people feel stuck when seeing Drs, therapists, etc… But you’re not bound to them for life. If you don’t like then or agree then switch.
    As far as the relationship goes, I’m not too sure but I’m sure that’s not helping. I’ve been there and it took me yearssss to finally move past everything that happened. I can’t speak for you, but for me that relationship ending was the best thing that could have happened. Of course I didn’t see it then, but now I do. Good luck to you and try not to make too speedy of a decision 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂

      This does all make sense and now the day has gone on abit I realise I wasn’t in a right frame of mind. It’s really frustrating trial and error with meds though and for me I think it’s down to being impatient.

      Zoloft is the same as sertraline isn’t it? I used to be on that too and it didn’t work very well. Sorry to hear it had such a negative impact on your health! Bit glad to hear you’ve found something that’s working 🙂

      At the end of the day, how shit is BPD 😂 I’ll talk to my Dr but I always get a whiff of dr’s and therapists just humouring me and then fobbing me off with medication.

      Yeah the relationship isn’t helping, unfortunately there’s kids involved and it’s just a terribly messy situation. I can’t get away from it right now so I have to try keep on track with my recovery as best I can.

      Thank you for your wise words!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing your story and I do see the value in journaling. It provides raw data and immediate evaluation for medical professionals to review when they aren’t with you and for you to review at some point. I’m not a professional, but I’ve been where you are and I hated medications. However, it takes time to trust a doctor and the medications. You should never stop your medications without your doctor’s permission as the negative effects could be greater than how you’re feeling now. Don’t be like me and take 20 years to trust because it almost cost me my life twice. I hope you’ll feel better soon and who knows, maybe you’re just venting for now. I wish you a peaceful New Year 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It really does help doesn’t it. I have one fellow blogger on here who helps me keep on track when I stop 😂. But it’s fantastic as tracking moods, I have actually given my website address to my therapist so they could have a look if needs be.

      Totally get what you mean, and I think it’s the common theme here. Stick with it and build trust. I’ll try not to take 20 years mind!!

      Thank you, I hope the New Year is good to you too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haahaa yea please don’t take a solid 20 years!!! Continue journaling it’s great. I journal as well. I just don’t have the you know what to post the deep stuff!! 😳

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ll try not too!

        You could try journaling it anonymously? I think it’s the deep stuff that people (I do anyway) want to read. Because you don’t find this stuff on your average website, guides/self helps/info on mental health can be really useful but you never see the first hand experience of it until you’re given the deep stuff!

        It’s weirdly comforting reading about someone else’s experiences that are similar to your own but would never speak about in person if that makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. These types of medicine can take a month to take effect versus the side effects. I’d at least wait their estimated “full effect” time frame, whatever that is. If even after that time frame is reached they don’t seem to make a positive difference, then ask your doctor to be taken off, because most of these you can’t just be quit immediately, you need to slowly stop or else those side effects get worst.

    As for being drug free. What is your goal there? If being drug free is important to you, make that clear to the care team. Maybe they have a plan of replacing it with more therapy instead, coupled with lots of exercise and better eating to see if it may be enough for you at this point?

    I am at a point where I still need the pills help. I understand there is a negative idea out there about taking them also. Make sure you are not just wanting to be off them because of the popular view that you should get out of them. Do it for your own reasons.

    Sorry this may be a very frustrating thing to read, as you can’t take immediate action. Trust me, I crave for immediate actions that could make me better, but there aren’t any to me at this point. It is all about changing habits and working on myself, work work work and I am so tired. But at least there is a path, I just with things would progress faster!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My virtual voice of reason 😂

      Thank you. I think I was just having a wobble as I feel totally different now.

      I get what you’re saying and I know this is a long winding road. I’m just a tad impatient! I think the idea of being drug free is because I feel they’re just man made fake shit and to be totally healthy I should only be putting natural things in my body. Then again, there’s the striding for perfection & setting up for a fail again.


      1. Impatience, yes. It really shows my young age of 31 when it comes to that. I don’t want to wait, I want to get better NOW and for REAL and for it to NEVER come back. I know better than to believe that is possible… yet it is how I feel when I break.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the flaw in the putting only natural things in the body argument is that back in the day before medications people were getting sicker and dying younger. If at some point you do choose to go off meds, it’s good to be prepared for the possibility that things might actually get worse. Regardless, I agree with you, the slow trial-and-error to find the right meds is oh so frustrating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s very true. In my head, when it clicked I shouldn’t take my meds anymore, it didn’t occur to me I might actually get worse. Like, all I could see was this perfect choice. Don’t take the meds, be free of all this crap & your mind will go to it’s perfect natural state.

      I now think that it wouldn’t be so perfect as nothing can be.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha I hear that 😉 Only reason I suggested it was because I near did myself in when I tried coming off 2 long term medications (few years ago now) … when I did the 3rd one it took nearly 6 months and was less painful. But I’m a bit of a drug sensitive wee soul 😉
        And that sounds like you made a good decision for you anyway 🙂


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