Chester Bennington, Mental Health & It’s Impact On Me.
A lot of people will know that Linkin Park’s frontman Chester Bennington died 20th July 2017. The reason I am writing about him here is because his death had a huge impact on my life. I never thought the death of a ‘celebrity’ would affect me but the news of his passing and more so, how his passing came about, sank me into one of the deepest depressions I have ever endured.
During this depression I wrote a suicide note and planned how I would kill myself. I got a will in order and planned out my funeral arrangements.
Once I learned that Chester had committed suicide I had a sort of tribute night where I sat and listened to his music and sang along. Then I began seeing details of his death and this is where the downfall in my mood came. I started obsessing (and I mean, really obsessing) about his death, his suicide. How he did it. I spent weeks sat in front of the computer every night crying full of despair. I could not stop thinking about hanging myself so I research how to do it ‘right’. I knew the materials Chester used and I was ready to join him. I don’t know what stopped me in the end but eventually I came out the other side. I can’t believe I grieved for a person I did not really know other than their music.
I suppose what this shows me is that anything can affect anyone in anyway. It has made me a more compassionate person.
Some of the stuff listed below I know triggered me when I was in that depression. I can write it now without going back to that place but I just want to lay it down and be as honest with myself as I can be.
During my depression…
Songs I listened to:
Facts I learned about Chester’s Death:
- He committed suicide by hanging himself.
- He had ecstasy and a little bit of alcohol in his system when he died.
- He died on the birthday of his good friend Chris Cornell (front man of Audioslave/Soundgarden).
- He did not leave a suicide note – I obviously don’t know the reason why he didn’t. I guess if you are in that much pain at the time you will scramble to do anything to stop the pain. A note might be the last thing on your mind.
At the risk of sounding like a cheesy teenage fanboy, I love you Chester.