10:55 So I’ve been feeling good mentally the last couple of days and I think I want to stop all my medication (If anyone has any advice for/against that would be much appreciated).
See the thing is, yes I originally went to a Dr and was prescribed anti-depressants but ever since it has been a downward spiral. Stronger anti-depressants, mood stabilisers, then them both together. I have not been getting better over the last few years I have been getting worse and there are only two things in my life that could have caused this downfall:
Taking strong meds
Getting into a relationship that has been very up & down with a lot of psychological hammering
The relationship thing…Very complicated. I refuse to think that it is that alone that has really affected my mental health. I think these meds are almost tricking my brain into thinking it isn’t well. Positive thinking and all that…Well how can you have positive thinking when you are stuffing all this meds down your neck? Surely they’re a constant sign that things are not OK so you can take your positivity elsewhere.
So I need some advice. I know I am impulsive so left to my own devices I would just stop all medication now. Does anyone have experience good or bad of coming off meds? What about abruptly stopping? I would love to go into 2018 drug free.
21:42 OK, an update! I’ve decided I am cured of all ailments and have written down a foolproof plan for the future. Please see below:
So I guess I’ll still do this blog but I won’t be a mental illness sufferer anymore.
17:27 It started 4 – 5 days ago I think. A strange sensation that runs down my right leg and ‘pools’ at the bottom. It’s so weird, I have to keep checking if I’ve pissed myself! Just to be clear – I haven’t pissed myself. Yet. But the sensation is there.
This symptom has coincided with me being unbelievably fatigued. I’m so tired all day regardless of how much sleep I’ve had. My eyes ache all day and my limbs feel so heavy. Now, the problem I’ve got with this though is it’s Christmas and I’ve been drinking loads of booze and eating far too much. So how much of this, if not all, is my own fault? Have I actually brought these symptoms on myself from partying like I’m 17 again 😂 I hope so because I’ve googled these symptoms and I have 2 minutes left to live – if that’s true, goodbye and I love you all.
08:25 I couldn’t muster the energy to keep up this diary over Christmas. I’ve been poorly and it has sapped me off energy. To top that off I’ve not done myself any favours in the drink/drugs department.
My newish meds mirtizipine is still kicking my arse. It’s making me sleep through alarms, fall asleep early on a night and just generally waddle about like a zombie. Still clinging on to these symptoms eventually wearing off/diminishing.
This is all I can hack to write. I’ll update my mood charts and come back to this properly tomorrow.
This feels like one of those things that are passed around, pass to 10 of your friends or 59 children will die at midnight! Don’t worry, this one isn’t like that. I’ve already saved the children and the only thing that might die in this whole process is a little bandwidth.
What is the Liebster Award?
A recognition award from one blogger to another. The word Liebster means “dearest” or “beloved.” Through these awards, we can learn more about our fellow bloggers. This helps us to discover and be discovered.
It also has it’s own cool logo:
Rules of the Liebster Award:
Acknowledge the blog that gave it to you and display the award.
2.Answer 11 questions that the blogger gives you.
3.Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4.Nominate 11 blogs and notify them of their nominations.
5.Give them 11 questions to answer.
Why did you start blogging? I used to keep offline diaries of my daily mood/general mental health. When I started RO DBT they focused a lot on radical openness so I decided to move my diary & charts online. Open it up to the world.
What is your favorite movie? Lord Of The Rings
If you could live anywhere, where would it be? A remote island with enough resources to sustain me until I die.
What is your favorite season? Summer, even though it’s debatable you can call summer ‘summer’ in the UK.
What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
Dogs or cats? Dogs. Cat’s were put on earth by the devil to eradicate humans.
Coffee or tea? Coffee. Tea is for wimps.
What is your favorite book? I love biographies & factual books. The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson is a particular fave.
If you were only given one meal to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pizza but only if I was also allowed bottomless garlic dip.
What is your favorite hobby? Gaming
Who is your favorite band? Wow, tough. It changes often, at the moment Linkin Park.
I’ve been on a night out in Las Vegas with UFC Champ Michael Bisping.
When I get anxious I pull my hair out and eat it.
Carrying on the eating theme, I once ate 33 slices of pizza in under an hour.
I love the build up to a bath but not the actual bath – running it, going to the toilet, getting steamy, putting bubbles in it, lighting candles….But then I get bored and sweaty after being in it for a couple of minutes and get out.
I have a son who I constantly worry is going to inherit my poor mental health.